Damn. There’s only been a few warm days here in Oregon and it already feels like it’s going to be the best summer ever. Summer is when this little cocktail light of mine shines its brightest.

A few days ago, my friend Andrew texted and asked if I’d be up for a little river adventure. OH HELL YES I AM! In a few minutes I whipped up a few bottled cocktails. Perfect for a lazy day on the river beach.

The bottles and equipment are a small initial investment, but once you have them? It’s easy to make bottled beverages at home.

Bottled cocktails have been popular at fancy cocktail bars all over the country and I’ve been watching Jeffrey Morgenthaler make bottled cocktails since last year. I’ve been developing recipes all winter using his carbonation/bottling technique. You know what? It’s so easy.

But here’s the thing. The Twist N’ Sparkle that he and I use(d) has been recalled. Because sometimes it explodes, apparently. Major sad face, you guys. So. Let’s just use fresh club soda instead and hope a new version of the Twist N’ Sparkle comes out very soon.

To make your own sodas at home you’re going to need the following equipment:

187 ml Clear Champagne Bottles
Bottle Capper
Bottle Caps
A small funnel fitted with a small tube

You can like find these supplies at your local home brew store, or online by following the links!

If you’re not persuaded, look how much fun we had!

Oh yeah. So hot. My friends are sizzlin’! Left to right — Marco, Myself, Adam and Andrew.

This is the first recipe of several (the light green one in the beach pictures is coming soon). Get busy; summer is soon!

Grapefruit Thyme Bottled Cocktail
(makes 4 bottles)

3/4 c. gin
3/4 c. fresh grapefruit juice
1/4 c. fresh lime juice
1/4 c. thyme syrup
1 c. club soda*

Combine all ingredients besides club soda and distribute evenly in 4 small Champagne Bottles. Use a funnel fitted with a small tube that extends to the bottom of the bottles. This will help maintain maximum carbonation. Using the Bottle Capper, seal each bottle with a Bottle Cap. Chill and serve.**

* If the Twist N’ Sparkle weren’t recalled, I’d use water here, combine all the ingredients and carbonate them together then bottle.

**For maximum fizziness, serve as soon as possible.

You know what’s great about these sodas? They’re sealed, so they’re portable. And the bottles are reusable! You know what else is great? They’re delicious.

If you want a more in-depth description on bottling cocktails (along with another recipe), check out Jeffrey’s post.

May I vent?

Portland is wonderful. I love it in so many ways. I plan to spend a lot of time here, maybe even the rest of my life. But Oh Lord! The plaid! Somebody make the plaid stop. I’m begging.

OK, I’m done. Yep. Done. You won’t hear another peep from me about the Prevalence of Plaid in Portland.

So. I guess you can say I’ve been feeling the need to glam it up a bit. Put on the ritz, ya know? Celebrate a little. Dress up a bottle of cheap prosecco and make her taste expensive. Dress myself up in a little pink (maybe). And it’s ok if I go a little overboard.

This little number is not a lot of work, but she’ll take a few days of foresight to execute. And no, she will not be held back by irrelevant prefixes.

Ms. Piggy
(makes one drink)

1 oz. rhubarb-infused tequila*
.5 oz. fresh lemon juice
.5 oz. fresh lime juice
.75 oz. simple syrup
Brut champagne or prosecco
Fresh rhubarb for garnish

Shake all ingredients except champagne in shaker with plenty of ice. Strain into a champagne flute; top with champagne. Garnish with a thinly sliced piece of rhubarb.

*To make rhubarb tequila, coarsely chop fresh rhubarb and add it to a container with desired amount of silver tequila. You’ll need roughly 1 large stalk of rhubarb for every 1.5 cups of tequila. Let sit at room temperature for 2-3 days, strain and serve (or in this case, make a Ms. Piggy).

BRB, I’ve gotta change out of this plaid.

One of the most fabulous things about Portland is my roommate Marco. I met him in Astoria and we became fast friends. Within a week of knowing each other we were wearing kimonos and watching Barbra Streisand movie musicals.

We have so much in common. Love of decorating, clothing, being industrious/crafty, food, laying out and (most importantly to you, dearest tipsy reader) he also loves making a fabulous cocktail.

We’ve been decorating the apartment on somewhat of a budget, so when I came across Your Friends and Mine by Kenny Rogers at a nearby Goodwill. I knew immediately what to do.

AMAZING, right!? My celebrity/pop/vintage/black and white theme is coming together perfectly. Anyway, the point of all of this is the night before Dick Clark died Marco and I were discussing his portrait (top row, fourth from the right). It seemed only natural that we name our creation after him.

Cheers, Mr. Clark. Cheers.

Dick Clark
(serves 1)

1.5 oz. Kraken Dark Rum
.75 oz. fresh lemon juice
.75 oz. thyme syrup
3 dashes Angostura Bitters
Club Soda
Lemon peel, for garnish

Shake all ingredients but club soda in a shaker with plenty of ice. Strain into a Collins glass with fresh ice. Top with soda and garnish with lemon peel.

Thyme Syrup
(makes 2 cups) 

1 c. white sugar
1 c. water
5 sprigs of fresh thyme

Dissolve sugar in water while heating to a simmer. Once simmering, remove from heat, add thyme sprigs and let steep for 30 minutes. Strain and cool.

Dearest tipsy reader,

Have I neglected you? Please answer:

a) yes.
b) most definitely.
c) who are you?
d) signs point to yes.

I’m only sorry a little bit. Because you could get a contact high from all this life I’ve been doin’! You see, I moved to Portland. Oh yes, I did. So much yes-ness. YES. I just like how that sounds. Yessssss.

I love it here; I feel alive. Life is delicious and I’m just eatin’ it up. So much delicious life eating. Yum. Also: yes.

Spring is in the air; let’s celebrate it together with this little number. Yes, let’s.

Orange Ginger Fizz
(serves 1) 

1.5 oz. gin
1.5 oz. fresh squeezed orange juice (about 1 orange)
.5 oz. fresh lime juice
.5 oz. ginger syrup (use half brown sugar, half white)
4 dashes Fee Brothers West Indian Orange Bitters
Club soda

Shake all ingredients except club soda together with plenty of ice. Strain into a fresh glass filled with crushed ice. Top with a bit of club soda. Garnish with an orange wedge.

I’ve started working as a weekend nights waiter at a local restaurant. It was an unexpected, out-of-the-blue opportunity. In the spirit of adventure, I took the job. It’s turned out to be a good choice.

One of the things I love most is watching people dine late into the evening. Again and again, they draw their drinks into their mouths with lips still tingling from spicy shellfish. Their eyes liven and the conversation easily glides into the night.

That’s one reason I love making cocktails. For me, yes, but especially for others. To be able to contribute to a memory? A conversation? A new friendship? I live for it.

When I make a cocktail, especially a classic recipe like the Sazerac, I think of the thousands of bartenders before who made this particular drink for their thousands of customers. And the good times they must have had. If a flavor I create (or recreate, in this case) somehow ends up as part of someone’s happy memory? Then my work here is done.

Sazerac
(makes 1 drink)

2 oz. rye whiskey
1 sugar cube
A bit of of Pernod
4 dashes Peychauds Bitters
Lemon peel, for garnish

Pack one old fashioned glass with ice. In another old fashioned glass soak the sugar cube with the bitters. Crush and muddle the sugar in the bottom of the glass. Add the rye whiskey. Add ice and stir until sugar is dissolved. Discard the ice from the other glass and coat the inside of the glass with Pernod (or Absinthe, or more traditionally, Herbsaint, depending on what is available in your area). Strain the stirred mixture into the coated glass and garnish with a lemon peel on the edge of the glass.

If you’ve ever been to the mixers section of the grocery store you’ve seen sour mix. Maybe you’ve even purchased it and made whiskey sours at home. Well NO MORE, my friends! We can overcome this, together.

Because, see, throwing sour mix out the window and replacing it with equal parts citrus (lemon or lime) and 1:1 simple syrup … it’s what’s going to make your drinks memorable. And healthier. And delicious-er. And fresher.

A simple whiskey sour is an important, if not necessary, for a home bartender’s repertoire. And a little fresh grapefruit juice? A deft switch to bourbon? Well, your home bar customers will be ordering another round.

Grapefruit Bourbon Sour
(makes 1, but easily scales for two) 

1.5 oz. bourbon
1 oz. fresh grapefruit juice
.5 oz. lime juice
.5 oz. simple syrup

Combine ingredients with plenty of ice (don’t be bashful, now) in a cocktail shaker. Give the cocktail a serious shake. Strain into a cocktail glass. (I was naughty in my photo, I didn’t use a proper glass for a sour. Eeek. Shame on me.) Garnish with grapefruit peel.

Also, if you’ve got whiskey, go ahead with that. I’m sure it would be lovely. Vodka? Tequila? Gin? A sour recipe is so simple, it makes a good drink with whatever spirit you have.

You guys, I was so generous this holiday season. I got myself two wonderful things. A Le Creuset and an iSi Twist N Sparkle Carbonating System. I’m so thoughtful.

It’s only been a few weeks and I’m wondering how I lived without either one. But this is a cocktail blog. And I’m sure you’ve all had an earful from some home chef about their Le Creuset, so I’ll spare you my enameled-cast-iron romance novel.

I’m just going to come out and say that “Twist N Sparkle” is a terrible name, and even as a gay man, I can barely stand to say it aloud. Every time I say it I picture myself doing jazz hands and wearing sequined spandex.

That being said, I do think it’s a terrific product. And nobody even paid me to say that!

A few things that convinced me to purchase the Twist N Sparkle (JAZZ HANDS!): You can pretty much carbonate whatever you want (no dairy, but … ew), good reviews on Amazon, a reputable brand, and the fact that I was feeling generous for the holidays.

Upon arrival, I was really pleased with the simplicity of the whole operation. Fill the bottle to the correct line with chilled liquid, put in a CO2 charger then twist… and sparkle (JAZZ HANDS). Oh, then wait for one minute. Then whatever you stuck in the bottle will be carbonated. Easy as that.

I added 1/4 c. ginger syrup (made with half brown sugar and half white) to 2 3/4 c. chilled water and in a few minutes had the most tasty ginger ale ever (also, no corn syrup!).

One morning orange juice sounded boring so I made fizzy orange juice. Delightful.

Lastly, here’s a super easy recipe. It’s very subtle, very fizzy, and only a few tiny calories. Not that I really worry about that. This blog is about alcohol, after all.

Lemongrass Soda
(makes 3 cups) 

5 six-inch pieces of lemon grass
3 c. water
2 tsp. sugar

Chop 4 of the pieces of lemongrass and add them to a water-tight container with the water and sugar. Shake vigorously until sugar is dissolved. Let sit in the fridge for 12-24 hours. Strain the liquid. Carbonate the liquid according to manufacturers instructions on your carbonator.

Pour over ice and garnish with the remaining lemongrass. I cut one stalk into fourths lengthwise and it gave me a variety of sizes to use as garnish, enough for two or three glasses.

Splash in a little vodka or gin with a squeeze of lemon and you have one fresh and refreshing drink!

I really appreciate all the thought that went into this gift. Thank you, me.

Whew. It’s been a crazy couple of days. I’ve forgotten the emotions that come with moving to a new place. When I got in my car (filled with all of my things) on Friday, I was full of excitement for my upcoming adventure. For a day or so I was full of dread. I was quickly reminded that moving is HARD. But now I’m feeling much better as I sit down to write this post.

What has made it easier is that I’m living in my dear friend Tom’s basement in the most fabulous location: Astoria, Oregon.

Astoria is on the Columbia River right where it dumps into the Pacific. Water is everywhere. The air is cool, salty and clean. It’s a small town, and people are in no rush. The beach is only 5 minutes away. It all adds up to be quite refreshing.

For the New Year, I celebrated with Tom and his friends. Drinks in hand, we celebrated as the ships in the river all blew their horns at midnight.

On New Year’s day, we walked along the beach. The sun was shining, and the air was barely cool. People drive on the beach here. Apparently it’s considered a state road. It’s all absolutely INTERESTING. It’s so different, so new. It’s lovely.

Don’t worry, I’ve already located TWO liquor stores. Stay tuned for new drinks soon. Now where did I put my shaker?

Look at those cherries. Aren’t they lovely? AM I THE ONLY ONE IN LOVE WITH THESE CHERRIES!? I picked them up the other night at the grocery store. They happen to be flavorless and overripe. But don’t they LOOK delicious? Damn my impulse non-seasonal produce purchases!

I’m writing this post mostly to say that things are super-de-duper-y crazy in my life right now (I’m in the middle of a far-away move). And to say, “Please Don’t Unsubscribe From My Blog Because I’m About to Neglect It.” But I think life is about to get super-de-duper-y crazy awesome. I’m excited! And terrified! And I’ll soon be back drinking and blogging from a fabulous new location.

And this post is also to say, you know… I LOVE YOU GUYS. Thanks for reading my blog. Thanks for being a little voice in my head that says that there might be one or two of you out there who notice when I miss a post. This year has been absolutely creatively invigorating. I’ve come alive in the kitchen. I’ve also been inspired to make big, exciting moves in my life. You are all partially to thank for that.

So I hope as I negotiate the millions of details of my new life that you and yours have a charmed holiday season. I’ll catch you in 2012. Or maybe just before the new year. If you’re lucky.